The first time I dated two women at once, I was in college. We all lived in the same dorm, but the two girls weren’t friends. After a few weeks of feeling like a stud, I realized that (a) feeling like a stud was overrated, and (b) I had much stronger feelings towards one of the girls than the other. I broke up with one of them and for the next five months, I had my first “real” relationship.

The second time I dated two women at once, I was 24 and living in Los Angeles. One of the women was friends with a mutual friend; the other, I picked up at a bar. I knew they’d never know about each other, but all the phone calls, emails and dates quickly became too taxing for me. My charade lasted less than a month. I don’t think I dated for the two months after that.

I discovered the joys of online dating shortly thereafter. Things were never the same. The choices were tantalizing; the faces, fresh and new. The ability to contact (and keep at bay) multiple women was never easier. I found myself corresponding with ten women simultaneously, speaking on the phone to five, and going out with three with regularity.

Maybe I went overboard, but I now believe that dating multiple people (in moderation) is not inherently bad. It doesn’t make you a player, nor does it mean you’re a commitment-phobe. It means, in general, that you’re still not positive that your current relationships are going to turn serious. And who can blame a marriage-minded person for keeping his or her options open?

So if you’re anything like me, both excited and daunted by all the options presented by online dating, keep reading. Understanding the five techniques below will allow you to both conduct yourself with class and date multiple people successfully — until you decide to focus on one lucky person. Ready? Begin!

1. Don’t ask, don’t tell
The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club. The first rule of dating multiple people is you don’t talk about dating multiple people. It’s that simple. The very nature of online dating suggests that you’re corresponding with and/or seeing other people. That’s OK. We’re all adults here. While we embrace the concept of honesty, sometimes speaking your mind is actually detrimental. This is one of those times. It doesn’t matter if things are casual, if your date seems cool, or even if he or she has made it clear that you’re not the only one. Rise above the temptation, and keep your lip zipped.

2. Make each date feel special
Your primary job on a date — if you want to ensure a second date — is to make the person feel comfortable. People feel comfortable when you are “present” — smiling, asking questions, making eye contact. Problem is, it’s easy, when dating prolifically, to be less than fully engaged in each individual meeting. That’s no excuse. Just because you lined up a date for every night this week doesn’t mean that your date should pay the price. If you find that your attention’s drifting after your third chai latte coffee date of the day, you’re better off canceling and rescheduling than sitting across from a person who can detect your lack of interest.

3. Know that the rules change once you get physical
A date is only different than a friend at the end of the evening. And while a kiss is just a kiss, it does send the unmistakable message that more physical action may be in store. This is a good thing — a very good thing — but when you factor in multiple people, the situation gets a bit confusing. Suddenly, you’re seeing three great people at once, all of them are at the “Are we gonna sleep together or what?” phase, and you can already see how that’s ending badly. It may not always be realistic to date only one person at a time online, but it’s certainly reasonable to winnow things down to one person if sex is on the horizon.

4. Take your date’s relationship goals into account
Casual dating is fun, and sometimes that’s just what you need. But when feelings develop and you and your date aren’t on the same page, look out. You may be just trying to get out there and shake off your previous long-term relationship, but the people you’re dating may be investing in you emotionally — especially if you’ve gone out more than three times. Be attuned to the needs and long-term goals of your dates because, whether you want to or not, you have their hearts in your hands.

5. If your date asks, tell the truth
If the person you’re dating asks you if you’re seeing someone else, you have two choices: Be honest, or lie through your teeth. Stick with the former. It may be ideal for everyone to live by “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” but that’s not the way it works. Tell the truth, and give your date the option of acting according to accurate information, not the useful and charming illusion that you created. By living by the Golden Rule, you set a positive example and create a trust that strengthens your relationship if your partner decides to stick around.

The statistics of romance tell a fascinating story about who is dating whom, how many of us are still single, and what to expect when love blossoms. From who pays for what to the age at which we march down the aisle, it can all be neatly summed up by numbers, some of which will definitely surprise you. Just think about it this way: Would you rather be the average or on the edges when it comes to love? See what you think as you read these facts and figures.

To call or not to call?
There is only a 1 in 8 chance that a first date will call you for a second date after 24 hours, revealed a survey by matchmakers It’s Just Lunch. But say you do like the person, then what? Here’s what a 2006 survey by Match.com revealed: On the ladies’ side, 49 percent of women never call or they expect the man to call first; 20 percent of women call two days later, while 15 percent call the next day. Of the guys, 45 percent call the next day, 32 percent call two days later, and 14 percent call three days later.

Date-night data
According to 41 percent of singles, Wednesday is the best day for a first date, and 46 percent of people surveyed by It’s Just Lunch say Italian is the cuisine of choice for first-date dinners.

Working on love?
Office romances are quite a gamble, it seems, according to data from the American Management Association of New York: You could end up married—or losing your footing work-wise. 44 percent of workplace romances lead to marriage, while 43 percent of women and 25 percent of men who had an office affair that ended badly reported their work suffered as a result.

From wink to real world
It takes an average of four weeks before Internet daters will arrange to meet off-line, says a 2005 study by Love.com… so don’t be put off if bantering emails don’t lead to a date right away.

Putting a price tag on romance
51 percent of American men spend over $100 monthly on dates, and 29 percent spend over $150, according to an It’s Just Lunch survey. What’s more, 68 percent of men treat on the first date. Now, nearly 2/3 of U.S. women spend less than $50 a month on dating, but the female of the species likely empties her pockets for Cupid in a different way, buying cosmetics and new clothes.

I’ll drink to that…in moderation
86 percent of American men and 91 percent of women agree that two alcoholic drinks is the maximum on a first date, say the folks who took an It’s Just Lunch poll, and one in five would refrain from drinking.

Who’s doing the dumping
So who is bringing down the ax when people part ways? 29 percent of men polled by eNation, a service of Market Facts, say that they were the one who called it quits, while 51 percent of women say they initiated their most recent split.

How you mend a broken heart…
36 percent of adults say they get over an ex by dating someone new, according to the same eNation survey. 22 percent drown their sorrows in alcohol. 15 percent say they go shopping—and a jet-setting 10 percent go on a vacation.

Single solidarity
As of 2004, Census Bureau reports revealed that there were 89 million single Americans who were divorced, widowed, or had always been single. That’s more than 40 percent of the 18-and-older population. In fact, on the average, Americans now spend more years of their adult lives single than married. This is due to the fact that many people are delaying the age at which they marry — most recently measured at a median of 25.8 for women and 27.4 for men; the highest on record — and many marriages don’t last forever… So being single hardly makes you odd man (or woman) out anymore!